Fall equinox

To fall

To make a mistake

But that’s no fun

Fall

To let go

Release the hold

Sometimes we may have to fall to realize we made a mistake

Wounds are painful

But we are capable of healing them

Love

Thyself

Trust

Thyself

Pride

Thyself

From the inside out.

All of this is simply a reminder to myself

But fall is beautiful once we can learn to be grateful for all experiences

Recognize those experiences as beautiful.

As a gift from life

As a piece of acceptance

The story has just begun

So we must fall and release our leaves- they are always born again but more

beautifully

every time.

Having to accept

Having to make peace with

Not knowing why or when

Having to release

Having to be at ease

What do you know about men

For my sake

For my sanity

I forgive you

And I give me closure

I decide this is what’s best

Decisions were made, some less sure than others. Who am I speaking of? One may never know.

But a choice is made within me too, to let this be the end of you. I know who I am I know what I must do. I know I can thrive for me, not for you.

Soon? Oh soon. What a silly little phrase.

I am no buffoon.

You may never get out of this phase.

But for me to feel comfort at all, I must choose to walk into myself. It’s your mess after all.

I held on too dear

Because all of this fear

So I let go

Because all I know

Is I create the flow

Your love

Your love was like a raging river

Blocked by a dam

You built yourself.

I don’t blame you.

Knowing where your rivers been,

I would have done the same

But you deserve to be free and united with the blissful ocean

It awaits you with open arms

If you only let her.

But know that becoming one with the ocean doesn’t mean losing yourself

It means being even greater than the rivers past.

The fear of losing yourself has holed you behind your walls

Walls of which I see beyond

But oceans can be unpredictable,

Yet so can rivers.

But I choose to be serene then wild

Depending on what form needs fixing

Because being unpredictable with the currents of life has taught me greater things than a dam ever would.

Broken,

bruised

My ego-

used

Feelings confused

Maybe a little delus-

Ional

The love I gave

came from safe space

It comes from pieces

I won’t erase

Within my heart

I hold the grace

To heal myself

I know my case

Only time

Will tell the truth

But if I can

I know I choose

Never knowing

how to love

Only shown

what battle was

Truly learning

in the dark

All the heavy

and the rough

Doing our the best

All that we could

Never knowing

how we should

Fighting to seek

the middle ground

To never have to

run around.

Within ourselves

The love we found

For us to meet

is so profound.

Broken lovers

You’re doing great

Broken lovers

You’re at the gate

Recognizing

all yours flaws

So life does not

release it’s claws

One day again

may we meet

When our lights

shine through defeat

Broken lovers

I’m so proud

Healing lovers

You will be found

To learn to love

alone is hard

Yet you have come

So very far

Recognition

is the key

Healing lovers

You and me.

I needed today to set my mind straight

I need to understand

This is this

For my sake

I know who I am and what I need work on

I know what I deserve

And what I have to shift on

The love within me runs so deep

For you my dear

Just let it seep

My heart does bleed

Through this change

But I have to let you go

To recognize my full potential

This is not yours and it’s not mine

I hold you close

In my mind

In my heart

And in my soul

But I must move within myself

For myself and my energy

There is no wrong there is no right

However I did

Put a lot in this time

I gave a lot in hope for some

But i recognized only

This could be done

I give you grace I give you peace

I understand the need,

Do it, release

But now I’m here choosing me

To give myself

A sweet decree

To let it go

To let you go

To accept that you need you

I deserve more for myself so I will give

The love I expect deserve

Do you miss the way you feel inside of me?

Do you want to spend time with me?

Do you want to make an effort to be with me?

Are you willing to work on yourself?

Do you think I’m beautiful?

Do you miss waking up next to me?

Do you love me?

Do you hurt in the ways I hurt?

Can you really live without me?

Are you capable of releasing your emotions?

What do you want me to do?

Where do we go from here?

What’s next?

Do you think I’m your twin flame?

Are our lessons done together?

Why haven’t you called?

Myself my self myself and I

We have a lot

To work on

My head is screaming

My heart is bleeding

I can’t even try.

I wish I knew what is for you

But I need to choose me

You said your peace

And it left me so-

Feeling depressingly happy

I can’t sleep

I can’t eat

I can’t go an hour without

Tear an

My brain is fuzzy

I wish you’d hug me

And tell me this is true

But today you disappointed me

And it hurt to feel it so

I can never be upset with you but this

I can’t let go

I’m staying here then going home

Whenever home may be

That’s your choice

To sink or float

My little honey bee

Normally I’m a very emotive person

I am still now

But I can’t fully place my finger on what exactly I am feeling and I also have no idea how I wish I was feeling.

This year has been anything but normal

It’s treated me with grace while still tearing me away from my precious comfort zone.

I don’t know what to expect now, not that I truly ever did. But now I’m really in a situation where I have no clue

I had a plan and then the plans changed and now I need a new plan and I am just BAFFLED at where I’ll end up.

But

It’s okay

Everything is okay and I will come out at the end of it just fine.

Reference to last entry titled “-“

You will always have a part of me

Heart of me

The love from me

You will always make my body yearn

I know with everything comes a meaning

I understand this is what is best for us

What’s best for you is what’s best for me

The world is true

So let her be

Today was anything but easy.

My head is pounding

My body can’t bare to move

My mind is heavy

My heart is weary

But I know I am okay

I hope for your sake that you are too

None of this feels real.

From the moment I laid eyes on you

I knew you were the deal

You were never a stranger to my heart

My soul recognized you

From the start

I would never trade a single night with you for anything

I’ve been blessed with you and our lessons

I hope that you can heal from this and I hope I can too

You deserve to be happy

I deserve to be happy

I want that to be with you but I can’t make choices for you.

I adore you

I love you

I miss you

I hope to see you soon