Myself

I really don’t miss the version of myself I once was. I don’t miss the limited amount of knowledge I once had. I don’t miss the mistakes I used to make.

I don’t miss anything about the person I was a year ago. Yet, if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be able to say that I don’t miss her. If I never had the experiences she had, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Today me is not tomorrow me. Today me also isn’t yesterday me. I shed myself and allow new knowledge to sink into the person I am every moment of the day. Sometimes, I will make mistakes. Sometimes I will regret something I did, but I’ll recognize that it was meant to guide me to where I am now.

Recognizing that my past actions are no longer DEFINE me but rather CREATED me has been far from easy. I still occasionally have a hard time looking my past self in the mirror and accepting her but I’ve grown a lot more comfortable over time.

What allowed me to do this was through other people. People entered my life who I love more than words would ever encompass, but they still had a past prior to me. So how can I be upset with my own past but not about someone else’s who I love?

I can’t, so therefore, I won’t. I reminded myself to take it easy on myself. To learn from my past rather than create the same mistakes. I recognize my past was my past and I recognize your past was your past and I move past it.