Finding

Everyone is searching for answers.

But does anyone really know what they are questioning? Or rather who? Or truly why?

Does anyone really know? No, absolutely not.

Personally, right now, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. Although I am very much confused, I’m also very very hopeful that whatever needs to find me will make itself be known. Right now I’m struggling to find the next steps in my journey because I feel like I’ve let myself explore every option or at least a good chunk of them and their outcomes.

Wether they happen or not doesn’t really matter because honestly the likelihood of everything going any way I had imagined is slim. Yet, from experience I’ve been lucky enough to know that I can accommodate myself to any path my life does end up taking.

Right now, I feel very fragile and it feels like the changes are overtaking my practical side and I feel lost. The only reason that is is because I’m making myself be stuck by only thinking ahead instead of just staying within myself. And it frustrates me because I’ve already learned this lesson prior, to be in the present but for some reason I forgot and it’s harder the second time around to learn it.

I really need to start answering my own questions about what I want and where I would like to see myself in the near future. I need to get my head on straight and focus on myself.

I know I’ve always had a hard time being independent in a lot of my relationships, be that romantic or family and friends. Regardless, I have to be self-sufficient and self-sustaining if I want to see improvement in my connections. I have most definitely gotten better and I’m very proud of myself because of that.

I’m finding more of myself as I’m stripping away more of my old self constantly. Everyone is growing and molding and shaping and raising their elevations and energy intake. It’s hard and really uncomfortable. But within the uncomfort, we must learn to breath and center and calm and feel that exact moment. It’s never easy and it Doesn’t get easier but it also doesn’t get harder. The more you practice to breath into an uncomfortable situation the more at peace you feel.

Take this moment to check in with yourself. How are you really doing? How do you really feel? How would you like to feel? How do you get to where you want to feel? Are you providing for your own happiness? Really check in and ask yourself these questions. Do you love yourself? Are you learning to accept the parts of you even within your unconscious?

I know I have not been checking in frequently enough unfortunately and this post is also a reminder to myself to check in. Even if it’s for ten minutes.

Namaste, till next time. Peace and love to all.